Aftershock

When someone experiences a tragedy, life is inevitably categorized into the "before" and "after" moments. The before moments being the tasks at hand that seemed to daunt your day or your week. The small fights you have with your spouse about picking up dirty laundry or washing a dish off in the sink. At the time, it was what consumed your day, your thoughts, even your actions. Then tragedy hits. Now and forevermore you will remember those consuming tasks as miniscule in hindsight. Why didn't I just let the dirty sock roll off my back? Was it really that big of a deal to have two dirty dishes in the sink? Did I remember to say "I Love You" before he walked out the door? Now life is looked at as the after moments. You can't help but compare the two lives as they drastically differ from  each other.

Yesterday my sweet, loving 51 year old cousin Jeff died of a brain aneurism. To say that I'm heartbroken is an under statement. Jeff was more like an uncle to me than a cousin - he was the oldest grandchild and I am the youngest. I'm having a hard time processing the fact he's gone. It just doesn't seem possible. I'm heartbroken for my Uncle Don and Aunt June, who are having to take on the task of burying their son. I'm heartbroken for Diana, his only sister, who was so close to him. I'm heartbroken for his wife Susan, who loved him dearly and enriched his life. I'm heartbroken for my parents, who loved and treated Jeff as a son. I'm especially heartbroken for his sons, who will now pass every milestone with their dad as a memory. It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't seem possible. 

If anyone knew Jeff, they knew that he was one of the best storytellers out there. He could get a laugh out of anyone - he truly enjoyed it. I know that my Uncle Moose, Janetta and especially my Grandma Ruby welcomed Jeff with loving arms yesterday. He's probably got them on the floor rolling in laughter. Until I see you again Jeff - I love you!

Jeff Lincoln

Parenting 101

I took a child development class in college where a very wise professor told us that before people have children they make a "mental" list of all the things they'll never do as parents. Then once they have kids they mentally check off each item on the list as they do them. For example: My kids will never eat macaroni and cheese with hotdogs for dinner, speed ahead 5 years and as I'm grilling hotdogs I mentally check off that item. Or, I won't allow my children to be that loud at a restaurant -- 5 years later I'm bribing my kids with horrendous things like ice cream to not scream or say "poop" so loud that the next table wants their food to go. The "list" could go on.

Look at that expression. Her eyes could tell a lifetime of stories and she's only 3. I've been reading blogs and trying to research best practice strategies for handling children with a "strong personality". Everyone tells me that it's such a blessing she's so adamant in her way, that she will stand her ground and  not sway to peer pressure. I just can't seem to wrap my brain around that. Harper is extremely verbal, probably past her age in speech which makes discipline hard. I'm not sure she cognitively understands what she says or how she acts. It's a fine line I'm trying desperately to learn. I'm truly hoping that I'm doing all I can to teach her she can always express her true feelings to me, while guarding her tongue with others. 

Food Take II

So when I started this blogpost last week I wanted to post some videos from my phone of some of Harper's diva moments. But it won't load so I know I must be doing something wrong. I can't quite figure it out. If you know the secret - let me know! You won't want to miss my Little Diva's rendition of Strawberry Shortcake's "Sunshine Girls" or Barbie's "Free to be Me".  Trust me.

Since I couldn't quite get the videos loaded I thought I would take another stab at describing my food challenges. I don't feel that I gave my last post justice. After 6 months of eating this way I must say that my challenges really aren't as bad anymore. Now that I'm familiar with what I can and can't eat I don't spend as much time online looking up menus or at the grocery store looking at labels. Most of our staple meals like tacos, sloppy joes, spaghetti and even burgers I have found an alternative that works for me.

Like I said in my last post, we don't really eat any red meat or pork in our house. Jon still fries bacon occasionally or will buy ground beef to make himself a burger, but you won't find it stockpiled in our freezer like it used to be. I've substituted ground beef with ground chicken or ground turkey breast. Even ground buffalo works! Then it's all about finding lower fat alternatives and portion control. For instance, I buy the heart healthy spaghetti sauce and whole grain spaghetti noodles, and allow my self more noodles and less sauce. We don't get the yummy garlic cheese bread, but instead I toast whole wheat bread and lightly season with garlic powder. Summer time has been easier for eating healthy because the produce is so fresh and abundant.

Now let's talk sweets. Anyone that knows me knows my sweet tooth is hard core. I miss butter, cream and ice cream for sure. However I've found some amazing frozen yogurt that satisfies my sweet tooth! Plus the sweetness of fruit has truly helped. Fat free whipped topping mixed with fat free yogurt and then topped on fat free angel food cake is a favorite! The 100 calorie pack cookies also help satisfy that sweet craving with out going over my 5g fat limit on a snack. If I cheat - it's usually with sweets though. Sometimes you just can't say no! :)

I know you must be thinking "but isn't that hard?" The answer - yep. I have to make a conscious effort to stay positive. It doesn't always work. At first, after we would attend a function that had nothing on the menu I could eat, I would literally cry as soon as we got in the car. Please don't misunderstand I was in no way upset at the host or hostess. It was by no means their fault that I have to eat a certain way and it's expensive to boot! But it was just an overwhelming sadness I couldn't get past at first. I sorta understand all those talk show hosts when they talk about food being a drug. Now it's not as bad. I've had some time to get off the drug and watching people eat my favorite things isn't hard or sad anymore. Jon is so great too - he'll try anything! I know it's been hard for him too, but he would never tell me that. I distinctly remember when I was in the hospital shortly before I had Elli that they decided I would be on liquids only for the two weeks until I could be induced. I instantly started crying and Jon instantly looked me in the eye and said "I'll do this with you, you won't be alone - it's going to be OK". From that point on - I knew no matter what my crazy diet was, he was on board. I know he secretly LOVES going to eat someplace other than home though so he can "eat for both of us" haha!

So the Food Saga continues - but it has taken a slightly positive twist! And if you do know how to get past the whole not loading video thing - be sure to let me know!

A Tale of Two Cities

In true Kali form I thought it would be very fitting to list all the wonderful things about our new home and town and all the things I would miss about the Lake. Now, I know I can't list everything, so consider this the abridged version. 

Our home at the lake (this was taken in January)

Things I'll miss:

• My friends and family (I already miss calling Diane to hang at the pool all afternoon)
• Hy-Vee and Target being literally down the road. Although it might be a nice break for my wallet.
• My neighbors - I had some of the best neighbors at the lake. I haven't met any neighbors in Jeff City yet, but I doubt any of them will spend all day trying to coax my cat out of tree.
• Starbucks Drive Through. I'm going to miss Starbucks in general. Now I know my low fat diet doesn't allow much from there. 
• All the little dives and restaurants on the water. We didn't always hit them up because let's face it eating out with two kids stopped being fun a long time ago, but the options were nice.
• My babysitter Robin. She is just an amazing lady - I couldn't have asked for a better woman to love my girls everyday.

Things I won't miss:

• Tourists - don't misunderstand tourists are great for the lake area, but let's be real I hate waiting.
• Road Work and having to manage around lake traffic with all the road work. I was super thankful to have had Elli around the beginning of tourist season last year. I was afraid for my life! 
• Not having High Speed Internet - it really should be illegal.
• My gravel road - I haven't washed my car in a week - and it ISN'T covered in dust!!!
• Being an hour away from Sunday Night Dinner at Jon's moms. I love Sunday dinner - but leaving at 8:15 and getting home at 9:15 before the week begins is just rough! Now we're five minutes away. 
• Being an hour away from all our doctors and the hospital. Taking the girls to the doctor was an all day affair before - not anymore!

This is the real estate picture of our new house

Things I'm excited about:

• Reconnecting with friends - I've missed you guys!
• Having space in our new home. The girls have an entire room for their toys. AND the room has a door. People coming over? No more rushing around to pick up the Barbie dolls and puzzle pieces, I just have to shut the door!
• Thursday Night Live - haven't gone yet, but I hear it's fun. It's on the agenda next week.
• HIGH SPEED INTERNET! Come on - when's the last time I blogged twice in one week?! 
• A Laundry Room - not a closet an actual room with a door. Just like the toy room I can simply shut the door.
• Being closer to Columbia - shopping, Mizzou Tigers, and more friends to reconnect with.
• Did I mention we are three minutes from the Suthoffs? Harper is super excited to be so close to her cousins.

As soon as I am out of boxes I'll try and post more pictures of the inside. Until the next time.

Berry Beach!

The view from our room

First I would like you to take note of all the beautiful photos I've successfully uploaded to my blog in a matter of minutes. That's right kids - we have high speed internet again!! Goodness do I feel human. There will be another post - published shortly about the move and all the good things about our new home!

This year my dad turned the big 6-0 and to celebrate his birth we decided (all 15 of us) to go on our first family vacation! We all packed up and headed to Panama City Beach Florida to enjoy the sand, water and sun! Since Harper had no idea what the beach was, we had to talk on her level. Since her world revolves around characters like Strawberry Shortcake, we told her we were going to Berry Beach! This she understood completely because Strawberry and friends made a trip to Berry beach.

Elliette and I on the beach

 The trip down wasn't too bad, the girls were preoccupied with movies and snacks. Jon did all the driving (he's so kind). We had to stop over in Montgomery, Alabama but were able to get to Panama City Beach pretty early on Saturday. We spent our days lounging pool or oceanside and even got in a round of bowling! The trip back was done all in one day (collective sigh). We even stopped in Hamilton, Alabama to eat lunch and what was next door? A prison. Yep - I drank my Diet Dr. Pepper while watching the inmates play basketball. Very interesting.

Gorgeous sunsets

 We even had a night to take some family photos by the beach. The girls did pretty well in the ocean. It didn't even phase Harper to get saltwater in her mouth or face. She preferred the pool to the beach though because she could display her "jumping" skills and make all kinds of friends big and small. She is such a social butterfly. She would stop and talk to anyone who would give her attention. She also got some quality cousin time. Abby was so patient and kind to put up with her new shadow.  She came home with a whole new set of hand clapping games and an even stronger swimmer!

Steve & Amy 

Derek, Sam and Nathan

Dustin & Rachel

Jonathan & Abby

 Elli did pretty well in the pool. She spent much of her afternoon napping, but she enjoyed her floating seat and was content to let her sister take all of the attention (as usual). 

Beach Memories

Daddy's Girl

(this might be my favorite photo from vacation)

Mom and Dad with Elli on the boat to Shell Island

On one of the last days in Florida we took a boat ride out to a state park called Shell Island. The beach there was stunning!! We even go to watch some dolphins swim from the boat on the way back to Panama City Beach! I realize that most of my pictures in this post are of Elli. Most of our vacation photos are of Elli because Harper simply wouldn't sit still long enough to snap a photo! 

Harper on Shell Island

In all, the vacation was a blast! What a great time to spend with family. I'm really glad we did it! Only 5 days after we got back from vacation we moved out of our house at the Lake and into our new house in Jefferson City. What were we thinking?!? I guess this vacation you could call the calm before the storm. Either way - Berry Beach was a success!

Eating, Moving and Job Change - Oh my!

Wow! What a busy month May has turned out to be. Many changes are in store for our ordinary family.  My diet and pain is pretty much the same. Although I've found my choices and medicine really do help me manage my pain. I can't tell you how many people ask me "So, what DO you eat?" ha! Well, I'll tell you:

Breakfast: usually consists of cereal. There are a variety of cereals that are low fat and make me feel very normal. Otherwise, it's toast and honey (I REALLY miss butter).
Lunch: Leftovers mostly from dinner the night before. I like fat free popcorn or if I have to a lunchmeat sandwich (I'm not really a fan though).
Dinner: Salad, some sort of baked chicken or fish. There are a few frozen pizza's that I can eat a slice of. I love ground turkey or chicken for spaghetti or tacos. Fish tacos are a new favorite dinner of mine.
Most importantly to my new diet changes are snacks. I eat some sort of fruit or 100 calorie pack between each meal and before bed. It sounds strange - but snacks save my day :)

So that's it - in  nut shell. Of course there are always exceptions and times I cheat, but I sincerely pay for it, so I choose my exceptions carefully.

Our home sold and we are in the process of purchasing another one. We are moving shortly after the school year is over. Which I can't wait for!! I LOVE my summer, even if this one is going to be full of unboxing and unboxing some more.

The last little piece of change in our ordinary world is my job! I have accepted a position with Jefferson City Public Schools teaching 2nd grade. I'm a bit nervous about all the new in our lives, but I'm a champion of change. I'm excited for the new challenge that awaits!

The BEST part about the new move is high speed internet - which for you means more updates and lots more photos (since it won't take me 45 minutes to download them!)

Life Book

Recently I read a book titled Saving CeeCee Honeycutt. Hands down it was the best book I've read in a VERY long time. Such amazing characters and a perfect mix of laughter, sadness, joy and excitement! The book, set in the 1960's, revolves around a young girl named CeeCee whose childhood has suffered great tradegdy in the form of a mentally ill mother. When her mother passes away, young CeeCee is left in the care of her great aunt Tootie. Tootie is from Savannah and introduced CeeCee into a life of southern hospitality and most importantly deeply rooted love. I enjoyed every last word. One of my favorite characters was Mrs. O'Dell. Mrs. O'Dell was CeeCee's elderly neighbor and in every way mothered CeeCee the best she could while CeeCee dealt with her mother alone. When Tootie comes to take CeeCee down South it is time for CeeCee to say goodbye to Mrs. O'Dell. This part of the book truly broke my heart.

When CeeCee asks Mrs. O'Dell why she can't just live with her, Mrs. O'Dell tells CeeCee that "that's not the way it's written in your Life Book" She goes on to explain...

"Life is full of change, honey. That's how we learn and grow. When we're born, the Good Lord gives each of us a Life Book. Chapter by chapter, we live and learn." ...

What an expiring story!

Well my Life Book is getting ready to turn the page to a new chapter. The last five years I've spent my professional life working as a 4th grade teacher at a wonderful school district at the Lake of the Ozarks. More importantly I've spent the last five years developing friendships that have unbelievably changed my life. I cannot even begin to express in words what these ladies have done to mold, inspire, comfort, support, and shape my life.

After much thought and prayer I have decided my time at Osage is finished. Jon and I are moving back to Jefferson City. Mrs. O'Dell said it best when she said...

"When a chapter of your Life Book is complete, your spirit know it's time to turn the page so a new chapter can begin. Even when you're scared or think you're not ready, your spirit knows you are."

To my 4th grade ladies - you've brought such joy into my life over the last few years (and I know you will continue to do so!) I leave you with a sad heart, but a hope for what chapter is next. I will absolutely miss your faces every single day.

Thank You for all the memories we've made and will make in the future.

PS - If you know someone who wants to buy my house - let me know!